I guess you could lump me in with the party girls. I like to stay out late; I like to have a few drinks; I understand the importance of a good push up bra. I have no interest in getting a nice set of plates, organizing bridal showers, or making scrapbooks. I don’t think I’m alone on this, I know many other women who would rather stay out until 3:00 in the morning than to get a good night of “beauty rest” in order to properly plan tomorrow’s “couples only” dinner party.
So when Tara Conner, Miss USA, was almost stripped of her title for simply partying it infuriated me. She was “guilty” of drinking underage—something literally every person I know is guilty of, testing positive for cocaine—something many people (including our President) have dabbled in, and kissing Miss Teen USA Katie Blair in public—who is totally hot. Nice work Miss USA!
Our nation was angry with Tara Conner for being out all night partying when she was supposed to be behaving as a “role model.” However, our nation’s conception of a role model is actually nothing like what anyone realistically would ever aspire to be. It’s a completely unrealistic expectation. The country wanted Tara Conner to be a virgin, who’s never had a drink in her life, abides every law and lets her hot body and gorgeous face go to waste on celibacy and a ten PM bedtime. Who wants to live their lives like that?
We’ve become obsessed with humiliating the party girl. And granted, one could go to town on Britney Spears’ erratic behavior, I’m not saying she’s an ideal person in any way (no one is). However, all Britney Spears recently did exactly what every other woman in the world does after a breakup…she put on some slutty clothes, hung out with her bad-influence single girlfriends and drunkenly partied too much. The nation cried, “She shouldn’t behave that way, she’s a mother!” Now a mother needs to be a virgin as well? Moms don’t deserve to party, feel sexy, and put back a few? Really? Some well paid, highly qualified, nanny wasn’t watching babies Sean Preston and Jayden when she hit the town on the rebound?
Our nation’s attack on the party girl is just a trickle down effect of exactly what’s going on politically—we’ve got a conservative in the White House, who’s concept of family and morals is completely hypocritical and dated. Somehow, his religious, right wing morals have managed to escape his daughters…why? Because they are young chicks who went to party schools and had a good time just like any other co-ed. Granted, they are no classy Chelsea Clinton (who looks fabulous by the way) but they’re a lot older than Chelsea was when her father was President, they’re at the age where partying is almost essential to daily life. You can bet they’re a lot happier than their role model-esque mother. When was the last time you think Laura Bush had an orgasm? My guess is never. You can see it in her vacant face.
Party-girl’s lifestyles were not always criticized to this degree. Grace Slick of Jefferson Airplane openly slept with her band members and had numerous run-ins with the law. She was arrested for alcohol-related offenses on FOUR different occasions. She made no apology or “exhaustion” cover-up excuse when admitted to a rehabilitation facility. She also was open to the public about her use of the drug LSD. And she did her job well—she was (and still is) an amazing singer with one of the most distinctive voices of the 20th century.
Party-girl Grace Slick succeeded in her field much moreso than most finger-pointing citizens have done, and no one judged her or stopped buying her music when shit hit the fan. Our nation at the time, understood that she was a rock star, and that her partying was a given (separate from her music) and was not to be judged. She still got the job done… in the same way a beauty queen, pop star or first daughter can fulfill their “duties” while still rockin’ out. Aside from Britney’s children (a separate issue altogether—I sincerely do hope they are being cared for properly), these women are not in charge of anything important. Really, Miss USA can’t wave in a parade with a hangover? These chicks are not responsible for running the country, who cares? We’ve got a clean and sober imbecile in that position already!
These past few months I’ve noticed a powerful resurgence in the party culture in NYC that inspired me to write this piece. Maybe it’s just where I’m at personally; maybe the collective unconscious has created a worldwide party that we’re all invited to, I don’t know. I can’t decipher on my own why we all seem to be having a good time again. All I do know is there’s a little bit of these browbeaten party girls in all of us, and I (unlike Miss USA) shall make no apologies for that.
Nice article. I have to say, though, I don’t think there’s been a recent insurgence of people criticizing the party girl, I just think there have been more examples of lovely ladies in the limelight pushing the boundaries.
It’s a good thing to see these people doing things like this, it means that the public is getting acclimated to it, and just like cursing on TV, it will eventually become commonplace to a certain extent.
Over the past couple of months I’ve noticed the same thing with the DC scene, but I think it has more to do with the fact that it’s the holidays than the social climate.
Comment by Justin — January 18, 2007 @ 7:46 am
Parties rule!1!!!111
Go party girls live the dream seize the day!
… now if you’ll excuse me I have a “couples only” dinner to prepare for.
Comment by Alex — January 18, 2007 @ 9:48 am
From one party girl to another- well done.
PS I just took a nap under my desk at work because I am still drunk a bit. Wish I was kidding.
Comment by Brandy — January 18, 2007 @ 12:00 pm
LOVE it and agree wholeheartedly.
Comment by H Fink — January 18, 2007 @ 1:25 pm
Bravo, Margot! This article is very smart, funny and well articulated. I totally agree with everything - 100%.
Another unsettling aspect of all this party girl hatred is many of these girls dance on tables, enter wet t-shirt contests and pull off their bikini tops in the pursuit of positive attention, which they get, briefly, before they are humiliated and called whores by both the men who encouraged them to do it in the first place and the other girls who are competing for that same attention.
I see no understanding, support, or positive role models anywhere. Maybe Oprah? Oh I know, how about Jessica Simpson, who was on the cover of US Weekly way back with the headline “DUMPED!” (by John Mayer, who likes to urinate on girls - niiiice) and then this week on the cover of OK! with the headline “How Jess Got Thin for Her New Man” (John Mayer, who likes to urinate on girls).
Partying is the right of any woman, young or old. Instead of reprimanding and scolding, we should be helping each other be safe, have a GOOD TIME (which has nothing to do with whether or not people think you’re hot), and stick together.
Comment by Livia Scott — January 19, 2007 @ 9:32 am
amen sister. Meeting you for the first time during the most parting time in a female’s early life…college-well, I think you pull it off with class and style. You never worry your family or friends with too much, unwarranted wrip-roaring partying. You always stand tall and create the shit out of the world every day (despite a few hotty-totty’s the night before). You SHOULD be the spokesperson for “partying with integrity”. People SHOULD listen to you about this!! Let’s get rid of the 50’s style..”have to be a virgin who never moves the hips and only says fuck in her nightmares” shit. It’s over with. We can have our dinner parties after cooking the pasta topless with a merlot in one hand and prince playing in the background (don’t forget these nice fusions)
Comment by natasha zajac — January 22, 2007 @ 8:13 am
Love it! Once again, I’m completely adoring you, Margot.
PS: I heard John Mayer likes to pee on girls. Wonderful!
Comment by anya. — January 25, 2007 @ 11:44 pm
It’s not the fact that the Lohans and Hiltons of the world are thought of badly because they are “party girls”- it’s because they are ridiculously overexposed.
You’ll get no argument from me regarding your article, though. Excellently written, and as a 23 year old woman who loves to get dolled up and go out and party ’til the asscrack of dawn, I couldn’t agree more.
Comment by nicole — May 11, 2007 @ 8:36 pm
To the girl who said she took a nap at work. Well it’s a pity you mentioned that because it shows a lack of responsibility and maturity on your part if you let your personal life (i.e. partying) interfere with your work. They do pay you to do a job after all. Lohan is another girl who constantly screws up work because of her lifestyle as can be seen by the reaction of cast and crew on set where she works (Georgia Rules). These people deserve to be criticised. This applies wholeheartedly to men as well but of course there is a targeting of female celebs generally because they are hot and therefore the public is interested.
Also the role model part is to do with what influence these people may have upon the younger generations, as in teaching them partying is what they should aspire to do rather than letting them decide to choose partying per say.
So yeah partying is good and all but not everyone is a rock star/celeb who can afford to be drunken idiots their whole lives. After University most people have to live in the real world.
Comment by Matt — May 14, 2007 @ 4:42 am
To Matt: blah blah effing blah. Your life sounds depressing.
Comment by tania — May 14, 2007 @ 12:42 pm
poor poor Matt. Loosen up. I drank til 3 am this morning & i’m at work now watching the clock so I can retreat to the bowels of my desk as well. Tequila never feels as good the next day. My point…Brandy’s not the only one enjoying life and not being governed by a 9-5. Life comes first. As long as we can maintain, we’ll be alright. Hell, we showed up to work..isn’t that showing a lil bit of responsibility? ^5 Brandy. Let’s meet for shots!
Comment by Matt's a Bore — May 21, 2007 @ 8:49 am
After reading this high school newspaper-esque opinion piece defending the obnoxious drunken bar slut phenomenon, I was looking forward to reading the comments at the end assuming they’d be filled with people laughing at you. To my surprise practically every comment praises this article for its “witty brilliance” in standing up for the rights of immature little girls everywhere who go out every fucking night to the same shitty bars, and stand around for 5 hours chugging over-priced drinks in some over-crowded dungeon taking pictures of themselves with drinks in their hands so they can put them on Facebook the next day to prove to everyone how cool they are and how they like totally party hard like all the time. I like the generalization you make that stipulates that if you’re not a “party girl” who gets shit-faced with your stupid friends every night and pretends bar acquaintances who you claim are the awesomest people ever are your true friends, you’re a boring “couples only” dinner party person with no life. There’s no in-between huh? When girls get all dressed up, do their makeup, throw on heels, grab their cameras, and jump for joy in anticipation of wasting the next 5-6 hours of their life in a shit hole listening to the same god damn crappy dance song they play on the radio ad nauseam (Gwen Stefani’s “Bananas” anyone?) I wonder why anyone would subject themselves to that for more than 45 minutes. That being said, I agree that it was a waste of time worrying about what Tara Conner was doing. She’s single, gorgeous, living in New York, and showered with privileges and opportunities. Of course she’s going to act like a coke whore, having sex with a bunch of random guys and party 24/7. I don’t think it should have been this huge issue either as stupid as I think she may be. Lindsay Lohan on the other hand is obnoxious beyond belief. With all those cigarettes she’s sucked down over these past years of bar-hopping, she talks like a 60 year old lunch lady, her career is in shambles, that freckle-infested orange leathery anorexic used up body of hers is disgusting, and the only thing she seems to want to do in life is go to LA clubs, stand around in the VIP and gain beer weight that she tries to offset with cocaine before crashing her 90 thousand dollar car into a fucking tree. Yeah let’s give her a fucking trophy. There’s something wrong with people who can only find pleasure in their lives by spending every second of their free time in seedy bars, drinking until sunrise. That’s ok in moderation, but when that defines you as a person the way it does Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, we pretty much have no choice but to call them losers.
This is coming from someone who HATES conservatives with a passion. I hate the right wing conservatives, all their nonsense, their hypocrisy, their tight-assed, stuck up, pompous, holier-than-thou superior moral religious bullshit. I don’t hate these party girls because their immoral or because staying out until 3 am is some kind of sin, I hate them because they’re all losers who try way too hard to make people think they’re cool by spending every waking second at some played out club. Like everybody else in this country, I drank, smoked, and did enough drugs in high school to get my fill and also to get to the point where I don’t need to prove anything to anyone like these perpetual party girl feel they have to. And yes, I went to the bars like everyone else in college, but after my sophomore year, all that shit got real old real fast. I fucking grew up, and suddenly standing shoulder to shoulder with people I don’t know and drinking for hours at a time stopped being fun. Occasionally sure, but devoting your life to the bar scene is pathetic.
I don’t think America has been obsessed with humiliating the party girl, I think the party girls do a good job of humiliating themselves. What are we supposed to think when Tara Reid’s tit pops out of her shirt before throwing up in the lap of the random loser frat boy she was making out with on E!’s Wild On. We fucking laugh at her for behaving like a dumb slut and an immature teenager who doesn’t know how to drink maturely.
Under comments, one person applauds you for your style of “Partying with integrity.” That’s exactly what your article should be discussing and it sounds like that’s exactly what you don’t do. Instead, you defend every bar-hopping coke whore who behaves like a repressed freshman Catholic girl who goes nuts the second they have an ounce of freedom in college. And when someone rolls their eyes at stupid fucking people like the fun-loving “free spirit” who was so hung over she had to sleep under her desk at work, I’m sure you see that as living life to the fullest. And that kid Matt is a “bore” for telling you you’re an idiot for being so addicted to the bar scene that you let it fuck with your job? If your concept of enjoying life involves sitting on a bar stool with your stupid tramp stamp back tattoo hanging out, smoking a cigarette, sucking down Corona’s until the bar starts spinning, then going to work smelling like throw-up and passing out under your desk, well then you’re just a waste of a human being. But a super fun, totally popular waste of a human being to be fair.
You see, the only thing more annoying than listening to some right-wing idiot talk-head like Bill O’Reilly bitch and moan about Paris Hilton’s drinking and slutting it up escapades is watching Paris Hilton drink and slut it up while adoring fans aspiring to act in the same drunken, obnoxiously self-important way praise and idolize her for being an idiot. You’re so brave to take up the fight to defend these bar whores. Bravo, you patriot!
Comment by Brett — January 30, 2008 @ 3:29 pm