Okay so I know that I've idealized Obama just a touch, loving him like a non lady Oprah, but I was stunned to find out that he is against gay marriage. I was so upset I felt like I was getting stabbed in the gut. Or heart. Or hand (I use my hands a LOT). He is FOR civil unions, and a number of gay rights including gay people being allowed to adopt and making sure gay couples can visit each other in hospitals, but for the first time I witnessed him doing normal political rhetoric explaining his position. Watch the sadness here: After seeing this I talked to my BFF Laura who once again came through for me. Laura: I love Obama, but I am under no illusions that he is a politician. He is the BEST politician we've had in 50 years, but he is a politician. A healthier outlook I suppose than feeling like he's my own little Jesus. In related marriage news: The Bachelorette picked her groom!! Us heteros are really proving that we know how to do it best!!

Racked.com has been quietly monitoring the progress of Alexis Bittar's new Bleecker Street store. Apparently, it opens today...

My mother and I went to visit the original Alexis Bittar store, on Broome Street, Saturday afternoon. They've been having a sale (30% off half the merchandise in the store) and being serious Bittarphiles, we thought we'd check it out.

As per usual, my mother was greeted heartily by name...."How are you? Did you have a good Fourth of July?" Over the years, both of us have developed a friendly rapport with the AB Store folks. In the past, I have extolled the virtues of ex-AB store manager Monserrat, with her multicolored hair and arms full of lucite... Nadia, the new manager, is sweet and helpful, but not nearly as colorful as the unforgettable Spaniard.

After we left the store (empty handed--this time), my mother and I both remarked on how, though we've never met him, we feel like we've known Mr. Bittar for a long time.

My mother started buying AB's jewelry on the street in pre-gentrification NYC. After that, we pretty much bought The Clay Pot's entire stock of lucite goodness: Every holiday, every birthday, every "I saw this and thought of you day" my mother and I received an AB treasure, tied in the Clay Pot's personalized ribbon. (The only bad thing about my parent's recent kitchen renovation? They got rid of the vintage washbasin full of Clay Pot ribbons from the past 13 years...)

Last winter at the Alexis Bittar sample sale, run by his wholesalers, we ran into Sasha, who we knew when she was the manager of The Clay Pot. She now helps run AB's wholesale business. (If you have never been to an AB sample sale...you are doing yourself a great disservice. It is, without question, the best sample sale in NYC.) I guess it's a family trait...we don't just shop at a store...we invest in it (not in the literal sense, obviously). Maybe that's why I have such disdain for sloppy stores with ineffective sales staff...

I can't tell you how many times Scott, my most favoritest Clay Pot manager ever (now a rock-star gardener to the well-heeled) told us "Oh, you just missed him! I always tell him your family are his best customers."

But it was never meant to be...we never crossed paths with the apparently ubiquitous yet elusive Mr. Bittar.

Too bad. But it doesn't hurt to hope, right?

MARCH
1 Woke up in a new apartment
2 Helped a pregnant woman who passed out on the subway
3 Did a performance of Blue Man Group on my lunch break
4 Wrote a letter for a stranger and left it on a park bench under a rock
5 Learned to write my name in Chinese
6 Took a shower with my clothes on

APRIL
7 Skipped an entire city block
8 Took a nap under my desk with my coat as a blanket,
9 Wrote a love letter to Kevin in pig Latin
10 Went to the main branch of the New York public library,
11 Taught my coworker’s dog how to do my job
12 Raced a baby
13 Got in touch with an old friend through My Space
14 Played, beat and lost to myself in Scrabble
15 Took a sweat nap
16 Learned all about Pranayama breathing
17 Went to Al-Anon
18 Wrote Punky Brewster fan fiction
19 Conducted scientific experiments on Peeps
20 Played theatre games in the park with a hundred people
21 Watched the film Babel
22 Created a stack of books as tall as I
23 Took over for my company’s receptionist for an hour
24 Rode in a pedicab
25 Speed-read ‘Middlemarch’
26 Went to an art gallery opening
27 Cut someone else’s hair
28 Read someone’s palm
29 Made my own organic foot lotion
30 Crushed a can on my forehead
31 Got diagnosed with a liver condition (and had fun with the urine sample)
32 Learned the Italian national
33 Read a poem in a public school
34 Took a yoga class
35 Did a 24-hour urine test
36 Made an online shopping cart worth $100,000 dollars
37 Took a self-guided tour of Fordham

MAY
38 Saw ‘Dirty Dancing’ on the big screen
39 Read a complete book of the Bible
40 Had the MTA refund my Metrocard balance
41 Made my face out of a potato, lunch meat, and vegetables
42 Rode the cyclone at Coney Island
43 Won a Kentucky derby pool at work and bought everyone donuts
44 Had dinner in my cousin’s new neighborhood
45 Tried to pay a dinner bill for stranger
46 Tried to find a friend’s stolen stuff on eBay
47 Performed ‘Beat It’ onstage at Galapagos
48 Ate frogs’ legs
49 Built Ikea furniture
50 Tried to cut the peel of an apple in one slice
51 Visited Roosevelt Island (by tram!)
52 Turned the cube in Astor Place
53 Hosted a dance party in my office
54 Gave a lottery scratcher to a homeless guy
55 Bought a My Little Pony
56 Flew a toy helicopter in the basement of my building
57 Met George Foreman
58 Walked a mile in someone else’s shoes
59 Took a bartending class
60 Became a democrat.
61 Saw Blondie play live at the Today show
62 Went to my aunt and uncle’s new house
63 Ate at Balthazar
64 Introduced my parents to my boyfriend’s parents
65 Played online poker
66 Bought a Mister Softee cone
67 Adopted an endangered species (blue footed boobie)

JUNE
68 Ate lunch in the HBO commissary
69 Ate in an automat
70 Went to a 24-hour drum festival
71 Used a digital multimeter to measure environmental resistance
72 Stood in line to get into a sample sale at the crack of dawn
73 Sent someone an oven mitt for being my 15,000th visitor
74 Did interpretive dance to the sounds of construction outside my office
75 Went to a roller derby match
76 Made my own hair conditioner out of food
77 Got certified in CPR
78 Learned how to make a purl stitch
79 Cleaned my bathroom floor with a toothbrush
80 Went with friend to a “silent party”
81 Carried a bowling ball on the subway
82 Wore a moustache to dinner
83 Walked around in an empty pool
84 Sat on a rock and watched the same ant carry stuff for an hour
85 Started an entry on Wikipedia,
86 Took the M train
87 Plunged my arm into a scalding washing machine
88 Signed a petition for a cleaner New York City
89 Made oobleck,
90 Made a house of cards
91 Wrote a fan letter to an author,
92 Played an orphan in a cartoon stage show
93 Wore a suit to work
94 Rubbed the Wall Street bull
95 Appeared on Who Wants to be a Millionaire and won $25,000
96 Made a donation to animal rescue
97 Walked across the Williamsburg Bridge

JULY
98 Test drove a unicycle
99 Wrote blindfolded.
100 Ate nothing but candy for an entire day
101 Walked a dog in Central Park,
102 Designed my own shoes
103 Scrambled the letters (like that Cambridge study)
104 Played Mbria
105 Watched kids play basketball in the park
106 Frolicked in the stream of a broken fire hydrant
107 Finished a sudoku puzzle
108 Bought ten tickets to opening night of a movie
109 Rolled myself up in an area rug
110 Gave Kevin champissage
111 Made Kool-Aid pickles
112 Went for a run in the rain
113 Changed screw-on lightbulbs
114 Let an artist make a skull out of my hand
115 Got my not-eyebrows waxed (ahem)
116 Took a one-hour walk at the whim of all the stoplights
117 Deposited a check for $25,000
118 Went to a birthday party for 90-year-old twins
119 Sang happy birthday in church
120 Jumped into a pool with my clothes on
121 Went to a holistic doctor
122 Ate gelato
123 Had breakfast on my parent’ balcony
124 Saw my sister in a play I also was in
125 Saw all of 125th street
126 Simpsonized myself
127 Took herbal supplements
128 Rode around in a chair outside
AUGUST
129 Triple rolled my tounge
130 Worked a WNBA game at Madison Square Garden
131 Made a photo and pencil holder out of office supplies
132 I played a game of washers
133 Made mixed CDs as a surprise for several friends
134 Took a belly dance class
135 Got fitted for bras
136 Ate a meal with my hands
137 Made a skull out of laundry
138 Ate organic baby food
139 Went to Camden Yards
140 Castrated a calf
141 Went to Musical Monday at a gay bar
142 Entered a poetry contest
143 Lifted 15-pound weights
144 Wore pajamas to dinner and a show
145 Made a customer service rep listen to MY hold music (me singing “Xanadu”)
146 Cut honey out of a honeycomb
147 Cut up a tree with a chainsaw
148 Wrote a letter of appreciation
149 Went to Bowery Ballroom
150 Made a lamp
151 Made balloon animals
152 Swam at Le Parker Meridien
153 Walked through Harlem
154 Memorized the military alphabet
155 Went to a staged reading of a movie
156 Made my own clothes out of curtains
157 Brushed my teeth in an elevator
158 Broke a lightbulb by stepping on it
159 Carved a heart out of soap

SEPTEMBER
160 Launched a rocket with my foot
161 Played trivia in a bar
162 Studied at Columbia
163 Made a reading haven in the bathtub
164 Made a slip out of a t-shirt
165 Fit myself into a drawer
166 Played the Great Dalmuti
167 Got buried in sand up to my neck
168 Go-go danced on a bookshelf
169 Hung laundry on an old-timey line
170 Listened to a book on tape
171 Hit balls at a batting cage
172 Bought a lotto ticket
173 Threw a smoothie party
174 Saw John Williams conduct his own works
175 Folded fancy napkins
176 Put 100 emergency dollars in the freezer
177 Edited an interview the President of Finland
178 Read Beowulf
179 Dyed my foot purple
180 Had a tarot card reading
181 Saw Rilo Kiley at Webster Hall
182 Learned happy birthday in several languages as well as “I like cake” in German
183 Threw money off a roof
184 Wrote in someone else’s blog
185 Broiled a salmon
186 Went to a Barack Obama rally
187 Played chess
188 Painted pictures in the park

OCTOBER
189 Went to a Medieval Faire
190 Saw a musical about Jesus robots
191 Joined Facebook
192 Learned an easy card trick
193 Visited a sukkah
194 Took a walk with neighbor Judy
195 Went to White Plains
196 Scored a baseball game
197 Sold flamingoes on eBay
198 Counted my steps for a day
199 Ate like a vegan for a day
200 Used an old-timey washboard
201 Sat on a yoga ball
202 Walked with a marching band
203 Pet a grasshopper
204 Peeled and ate a banana with my feet
205 Got a henna tattoo
206 Made sandwiches shaped like stars a la Cher in Mermaids,
207 Gave a man a pedicure
208 Did an interview for CNN via sattelite
209 Interviewed a dog
210 Went to the Chelsea high line
211 Played jacks
212 Served as a lifeline on ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire”
213 Teleconferenced
214 Made a crossword puzzle
215 Served drinks in a restaurant
216 Learned a Moroccan folk song
217 Walked around town wearing a ponyhawk
218 Started a swear jar
219 Carved jack-o-lanterns out of fruit
220 Dressed up as a Blue Man

NOVEMBER
221 Ate steak at Morton’s
222 Sat on the stage at a Broadway show
223 Thanked a subway conductor
224 Donated anti-malaria bed nets
225 Ate ribs
226 Sent a care package to a lady soldier
227 Listened to a whole rap album
228 Wore a leopard print coat
229 Ordered from an underground menu
230 Clipped a bonsai tree
231 Took apart and cleaned and reassembled a trumpet
232 Made grilled cheese with my iron
233 Called Japan
234 Had drinks at the Algonquin
235 Ate mulberries
236 Hit someone in the face with a pie
237 Held my breath and walked from one Starbucks to another
238 Started a book proposal
239 Gave an interview for South African radio
240 Tried to charge my iPod with an onion
241 Resewed a hem by hand
242 Played a haunted house game
243 Took my own blood pressure
244 Used an electric toothbrush
245 Ate breakfast for dinner
246 Drove a car on the East Coast
247 Did the Bloody Mary thing in a dark bathroom
248 Went to a vibraphone class
249 Met with an agent
250 Visited a speakeasy

DECEMBER
251 Uploaded a video of me lip-synching to YouTube
252 Went to a SAG movie screening
253 Went to a magazine launch party
254 Bought a skateboard
255 Named my body parts. Left hand Bob.
256 Made a JibJab video of me and my sister disco dancing
257 Took the Scientology stress test in Penn Station
258 Rode the subway in the railfan position
259 Googled and was freaked out by Ron Paul
260 Fit an iPod in my mouth
261 Took a shower using dish soap
262 Learned the Notre Dame fight song
263 Ate fruitcake
264 Watched an episode of TV’s Batman
265 Went to a party in Allen Ginsburg’s apartment
266 Watched a movie on an iPod
267 Cleaned my microwave with a lemon
268 Organized my sock drawer by color
269 Played a flight simulator
270 Read the New York Post
271 Made collar stays
272 Got stranded in Chicago
273 Beheld a leg lamp
274 Used a bellows
275 Napped under a Christmas tree
276 Surveyed Southern California fire damage
277 Visited the kitchen of a restaurant
278 Turned onto a new road
279 Watched Ratatouille
280 Complained to an airline
281 Wore a lampshade on my head

JANUARY
282 Made matchstick rockets
283 Polished my shoes with a banana,
284 Went to a memorial at the New York Philharmonic
285 Spit in public
286 Made and used a can-and-string phone
287 Picked the Spanish option on an ATM
288 Got someone to turn down their music on the subway
289 Drank coffee out of an unreasonably large mug
290 Watched tv in a cab
291 Scootered
292 Made an approval matrix
293 Sniffed art
294 Made a Broadway mix for a dance class
295 Took the Mensa test
296 Wrote a time capsule letter
297 Made scary tape faces
298 Took a Rorschach test
299 Watched a region 2 DVD
300 Played Scrabble for charity
301 Called the Post and suggested a headline
302 Researched the Hatfield-McCoy feud
303 Told a deli guy I would “have the usual”
304 Cut the tag off a product under penalty of law
305 Started getting rid of my callous
306 Saw an urban dance movie
307 Ppened a beer on a belt buckle
308 I ate ratatouille
309 Gave an interview for NY1
310 Took the Jeopardy test
311 Sent a postcard to postsecret.com
312 Started taking prenatal vitamins

FEBRUARY
313 Told a stranger she smelled good
314 Asked a cabbie about his family
315 Literally walked on eggshells
316 Started learning Final Cut Pro
317 Wore a bikini to work
318 Got ashes on my forehead
319 Celebrated Chinese New Year
320 Ironed my sheets
321 Appeared in a movie about a cake
322 Watched a silent movie all the way through
323 Made a popsicle in cold weather
324 Took a moment for Greenpeace
325 Played the spoons
326 Kissed the ground Kevin walked on
327 I tracked a dollar bill on a website
328 Taught music to a group of people
329 Changed wiper blades
330 Bird watched
331 Threw a paper airplane out the window
332 Read from a teleprompter
333 Wore underwear on my head
334 Sat in a box at Carnegie Hall
335 Shoveled snow
336 Ran a gambling ring
337 Drew M C Escher’s triangle
338 Drank from a beer helmet
339 Gave my phone number as 867-5309
340 Went to a bachelorette party
341 Learned to Zorba dance. Hopa.

MARCH
342 Went to a Big Fat Greek wedding
343 Spoke a half octave higher
344 Wrote with a feather quill
345 Commuted with a cane
346 Wore an eyepatch all day
347 Took a bath in milk
348 Ate crickets
349 Drafted a will
350 Walked to New Jersey
351 Shot a gun
352 Used a graphics tablet
353 Got acupuncture
354 Left a trail of breadcrumbs
355 Wore false eyelashes
356 Pulled off a tablecloth without upsetting dishes
357 Made a top hat out of duct tape
358 Played saxophone on the subway
359 Performed stand-up comedy
360 Took a boxing class
361 Danced around in a tutu
362 Delivered a singing telegram
363 Staged the musical of my dreams
364 Had breakfast at Tiffany’s
365 Hopped around on a pogo stick.
366 Very last thing, number 366 because of the leap year, I rode around a limo and ate candy because let’s face it, that’s your dream too and you know it.

In the three months since my year-long project ended, I've been catching myself saying things like, "one of the New Things I never got to do was..." and "I meant to do that as a New Thing..." So rather than just pass them over forever because I didn't do them before I turned thirty, I'm going to give myself a new excuse to do them. I decided today that August will be New Summer, meaning I'll do one thing I've never done before every day in August.
Welcome back, New!

Some stuff on the list:
-Engrave a sterling guitar pick
-Sing on top of a grand piano while wearing a red dress
-Surround myself with stuffed animals like E.T.
-Play Wii (No! I still haven't yet! Long story!)

Radio City Music Hall Open Call For Little People

Do---do-do-do--do--do--do--do--do!!!

(Know anyone who fits this description? Pass it on!)

LITTLE PEOPLE PERFORMERS must be under 4'10" tall, agile, move well to music, and be able to project their voice and personality. Auditioning is preferred but LITTLE PEOPLE PERFORMERS ONLY may submit a video by mail. (Send to MSG Entertainment, 1260 Avenue of the Americas, New York NY 10020, Attn: CAA Production. No video or headshot/resume submissions will be accepted for any other performers.) In addition to the auditions listed below, MSGE will be holding auditions at the National LPA convention. For more information about the LPA Convention please visit http://www.lpaonline.org.

St. Lawrence Arts Center REVIEW in THE PORTLAND PHOENIX

My own personal review: the show was pretty great. Though the audience was smallish (at it's peak I think there were 40 in total) it was a really attentive and warm audience. I made a new friend / fan named James who is going to be the president of my universal fan club. He left me presents on the hood of my rented Ford Explorer. My friend Amelia opened the night with some stand-up and we ended the evening with cake and champers at her house and then an after shindig at White Heart. Sean Carroll was a great liason and Newbury Comics in Portland is really super cool. My CDs are now being sold there, which is pretty great-so.

They are also being sold at loudmouthrecords.com and will be on itunes soon.

If you weren't able to see the show, here is a review which was in the Portland Phoenix:

REVIEW HERE!!!

Or, you can just read it here if you want:

Jessica Delfino at the St. Lawrence Arts Center, June 28

A thin crowd can be a challenge in comedy, as was the case with local opener, Amelia Kutch. It was less her material and more her lack of timing that left the 20-person crowd at the St. Lawrence Arts Center appreciative when Jessica Delfino took the floor with a veteran presence.

The stage was set with Delfino’s props — a guitar, a flying-V ukulele, a change of shoes and hat, and a microphone encircled by a set of red rope lights in the shape of a heart. All of which were pleasant precursors to the attractive and ballsy female comedian who grabbed the audience’s attention from her entrance.

Delfino has a way of making you hang on her every word with her use of dead space, body language, audience participation, and absurdly hysterical content. Whether it's a song about defecating on her ex-boyfriend and kindly nicknaming him “Shit Chin,” or a song accompanied by a rape whistle with a list of outrageous made-up reasons for a perpetrator not to rape her, she turns the taboo into feminine and empowering subject matter.

I drove out to Damariscotta Lake and hung out with my folks on the lake. It was really beautiful. Here's a photo of my dad, the dog and a very cute boy I happen to know.



And here we are, feasting at the lake house...



Yummmmss!! My dad supplies lobster to most of the Red Lobster restaurants and calls himself "lobster hitler". Good one, dad!

Even I feel guilty about spending money every once in a while...it usually doesn't happen when I buy a big ticket item or during Christmastime...the pangs often occur in mid-summer, when everything I want to buy goes on sale.

But if it's on sale, why do I feel guilty?

Well, because everything I want goes on sale...super sale...and the well-dressed devil inside my head tells me that, if I'm ever going to buy that, I better buy it now, when it's 60% off...because buying it full price later on would be just plain stupid. I may not buy anything else for a month or two...because I've stocked up on such great stuff for fantastic prices.

The guilt fades rather quickly though...usually due to a calm, informed conversation between the heretofore mentioned well-dressed devil (WDD) on my left shoulder and the well-meaning angel (WMA) on my right...

WDD: Hayden Harnett is having a 60% off sale! Hurrah! I should really buy something.

WMA: Why? You have 10 handbags in your closet that you don't use.

WDD: True, but the one I buy from Hayden Harnett I will use.

WMA: Just use one of the bags gathering dust in your closet instead. There's no need to spend money. You don't NEED them.

WDD: Need? Need? I do need.

WMA: No you don't. Use the ones you have.

WDD: But I don't use them for a reason. They aren't for everyday and I can't fit my Blackberry, water bottle, yoga clothes, makeup bag, wallet, umbrella and the book I'm reading in them. And that's assuming I'm not wearing stilettos...if I am, I'll be carrying a pair of flip flops as well. Do you see the problem?

WMA: How much is the bag again?

WDD: 60% off.

WMA: Ok, fine. But you have to give away some of the unused bags in your closet...either to friends or the Salvation Army.

WDD: Deal. Thanks for being so reasonable. You won't be sorry about this or the new bras and panties I'm going to buy at the Agent Provocateur sale.

WMA: Your wel...Agent Provocateur sale? You didn't mention that.

WDD: That's because well-fitting bras are a necessity. Like toothpaste and tampons.

WMA: (Buries her head in her hands) Uh huh...

Anybody want a black Francesco Biasia handbag with a gold chain strap???

Hey - remember this girl? YouTube Direktvideo link She will once again be live on stage this Tuesday in LA, as part of my show “Eliza Skinner is: SHAMELESS!”. Come see it! Tuesday, July 8th 8:00pm - 9:00pm Comedy Central Stage at the Hudson 6539 Santa Monica Boulevard (cross street Hudson Ave b/t Highland & Vine) Los Angeles, CA Absolutely Free ****Reservations [...]

I am staying at my friend, Brian’s, apartment while I’m in LA to do some shows this week. While here, I have been using most of my energy to avoid breaking or spilling anything, and the left over scraps of attention I’ve been using to read his books. Most notably, his copy of “Banksy: Wall [...]

For an explanation of the T-shirt, go to Fred's art blog.
Walt is always happy to model profanities for the camera.

In honor of the birth of our nation, I present you with the top 5 renditions by pop stars of The Star Spangled Banner in ranking order according to me, musical idiot savant, Miss CKC.

Number Five... Mariah Carey. Not cuz I actually like her version, but because she's so awesomely ridiculous. Oh, and she's the BIGGEST SELLING FEMALE RECORDING ARTIST IN HISTORY. I know, cuz it's in her intro:



Plus, she's perhaps the only person who has ever stretched the word "glare" out into 10 syllables.

At Number Four... Faith Hill. I feel pretty blandly about Faith's work in general, but she does a good job on this one, really making it her own. Plus, the interpretive sign language by the color guard makes it priceless:



At Number Three... Alanis Morrissette. Perhaps the worst/best public performance of this song ever. I think at certain points she was actually getting booed. I love that she sings the entire song like it's an angry grrl jam, but then at the end she pulls out the old standby R&B "br-a-a-ave."



However - her performance of "Oh, Canada" at the Stanley Cup finals moved me to tears. Those Canuks really know how to throw a party. And they always have lots of ice on hand.



Number Two! CARRIE UNDERWOOD. And the only reason it's not number one is because it's a capella. If she had an orchestra behind her my head would probably have popped off:



And NUMBER ONE... Whitney Houston! Whitney is of course still the best singer of all time, and her crack face is eternally amazing. She could twist her cheeks up like a squirrel before she ever put an ounce of rock in her system. How else could you get that kind of sound out?



Miss Congeniality goes to... BEYONCE KNOWLES for her exquisite showmanship. Her voice is not nearly as powerful as the rest, despite its beauty. What she does better than anyone though is put on a show wherever she goes. This arrangement is fantastic and the football players are totally feelin' it:

Finally ... FIIINALLY ... FIIIIIIINAAAAALLLYYYYYY someone has taken the time to decipher, transcribe, and illustrate Joe Cocker's "A Little Help From My Friends" performance at Woodstock. I truly had no idea that Joe Cocker was a poet of such tremendous impact. This is the most enlightening experience I've had in months and months.

I have terrible taste in musical theater. If you are thinking “Wait, but musical theater IS terrible - what is the difference?” allow me to introduce you to my favorite musical: Starlight Express. This show is– I mean… there aren’t words. It has taken me 3 years of blogging to mention Starlight Express because it is [...]

This is how the morning starts. I walk in the room. Harper: Mommy! Mommy walking. Mommy red shirt. Mommy wearing red shirt. Mommy drinking blue cup. Mommy sitting. I think you can extrapolate from there. (If you're going to, have me doing something amazing.) We enrolled in a swim class. This is how the swim class goes: Harper sits on the steps of the pool, watching everyone else swim. Harper: Girl swimming. Guy cleaning ground. Guy cleaning ground. Guy cleaning ground. Me: Yes honey, the guy is cleaning the ground. Would you like to swim? Harper: Girl kicking, guy try it too, guy try it too, boy red shirt... I guess someone who kept a strict cat's nap schedule before she had a kid shouldn't be surprised that her daughter would rather observe and comment rather than be very physical.

Louis CK's take on my home country:

Free Show!! I’m doing another show in LA, and I’d be great if you came! In fact, if you don’t I might just be performing for a scuttingly heap of ketchup packets and rat babies. I want to work for humans! “Both in her writing and in her nuanced performance, Skinner wrenches humor from awkward circumstances and [...]