Sources (close)
- a good american wife
- Amy Rhodes
- CAROLYN CASTIGLIA
- Chelsea Peretti
- Don't Cry, Tomato Baby
- elizaskinner.net - the jambox
- Felber's Frolics
- Glesbo
- Hatefully Charming.
- Hello Hilarious
- how to be a person
- In the New
- Jackie Clarke Comedy Genius
- Jessy Delfino's Blog
- Kate Spencer
- Katie and Brianna: Heterosexual Life mates
- LAUGHING OUT LOUD CRYING INSIDE
- More Bex Than That at Which Sticks Can Be Shook aka PLANET BEX
- My little blog
- narc.com
- Sara Schaefer
- Snow White's Legacy of Lies
- SPOtastic
- Superfree
- today's woman
- we shall not cease from exploration
- You Can't Make It Up
Mon 08 March, 2010
In honor of International Women's Day
an OPEN CALL, & EVENTS ON DECK for this upcoming week
Today, let us revisit an oldie but goodie. Warning: NSFW, but it should be. Especially today.
OPEN CALL:
WANTED: Supporting singers / performers / musicians for an upcoming event in NYC. Please respond ASAP. Specifically: Percussionist, guitarist, female singers, 2 strong men.
Thanks and please get in touch asap for the details at jessdelfino@yahoo.com.
UPCOMING EVENTS
ON THE MENU THIS WEEK:
I'm going to be on the radio tonight with some friends, singer/comedian Phill Lentz, singer/songwriter Jessica Delfino & artist/bloodwrestler Daniella Day. Listen live from 8-9 HERE: http://centannibroadcasting.com/
Daniella "Our Lady of Perpetual PMS" Day and I will also be discussing our upcoming CRAFTERMATH show, next Wed. March 17th from 7-9, featuring the awesome videos of Lisa Hammer, new & unusual crafts by the Craftermath gang, and an unheard song by myself. Show admission is FREE and there are terrific drink specials (shot of whiskey & a beer for $5), not to mention a gorgeous boutique full of amazing clothes to peruse as you sip your booze. The Dressing Room, 75A Orchard St.
ALSO TONITE: The ECNY Awards, hot on the tail of the Oscars. Who will win best Emerging Comedian of NYC? Not me! (I won Best Musical Comedian a few years back.) But I'm still going to head over to COMIX to catch the magic, after my radio spot.
And THIS WED MARCH 10th, it's time for another fabulous SKITS'N'TITS! From 10 PM til it ends at 308 Bowery, NY, NY. Tickets are $8 at the door, $5 in advance. You can send us some happy juju and good vibes by clicking "Attending" on our FB page or leaving us a message that describes in detail what you will be wearing and / or drinking.
Finally, if you like psychadelic sci-fi performance art adventures, do not miss Flight 18. This show is a total departure (no pun intended) from what I normally do and I must admit, I find the freedom to be kinda freeing. This week: Thurs @ 7:30, Friday @ 7:30, 9:30, Sat @ 7:30, 9:30, Sun @ 5. 210 Front St., NYC.
I hope to see you somewhere soon. I will be looking for you. Don't let me down, Vanessa.
Sun 07 March, 2010
I used to have panic attacks on trash day when I was a kid. I would hear the truck rumbling down our block at 6am and suddenly realize that I hadn’t done any arts and crafts projects with last Sunday’s Family Circus. That could have been an amazing placemat for my grandparents! Shit! “I really [...]
Fri 05 March, 2010
NEW work related FASHION COLUMN
I thought they asked, "How old do you look?"
Heya. Though it's been a few years since I've had a classic "job" where ya punch in your time card (see? I told you it's been awhile) and hang out in a cubicle, and there's a water cooler and an accounting department and stuff like that, I still know good fashion when I see it. Just ask Time Out NY if you don't want to take my word for it. If you also don't want to take their word for it, I don't know what else to tell you, you skeptical bastard. Yes, I guess I'm automatically assuming you are male.
Someone agreed enough with Time Out NY's opinion to give yours truly her very own work fashion related column. So check it out! And send YOUR work fashion related queries to "the experts." Um, "we" will toil and sweat over our laptops, desperately researching to get you the best answers possible. I swear to Crust!
Thu 04 March, 2010
A Three Hour Tour -- my trip to Cape Ann, Mass
Cape Ann Community Cinema rocks, free records, Amanda's Bananas
Yesterday around noon I hopped my booty into a shimmering, shiny, rented Ford Focus, scooped up my pal Our Lady of Perpetual PMS, tossed my guitar and some other gear into the back seat and scooted on up the coast line to Gloucester, Mass for a one night only engagement. I'm a very good driver with a bit of a lead foot and made it to our destination in just under 5 hours.
I LOVE the Cape Ann Community Cinema. It's like a huge living room where you can have a comfy couch all to yourself while you watch a movie on a big white wall. Some couches even ROCK, literally as well as figuratively. The place is stocked with great movies, and they also rent many of the films out with a very lenient rental policy that I overheard as, "Yeah, just bring it back when you're done with it." That's the New England I know, love and miss. There, you don't fear that if you sit on a couch at a bar, there's a good chance you're sitting in a semen covered nest of bed bugs. And by "you" I guess I mean, "I."
In addition, the place is stocked with tasty organic snacks like yummy nutritional yeast-ed popcorn and Amanda's frozen bananas, a very racy snack indeed, even for an already edgy fruit. Because it resembles what an african american penis looks like.
Below the terrific CACC is a great record store which us gals foraged through briefly before we headed off for a pre-show dinner across the street at the Italian joint. The record store was huge, vast and so amazing. They even had a "Riscque comedy" bin, spelled just like that! I perused my genre, found a real gem and purchased it on the spot.
Robert and the small audience that braved the cold New England weather to attend the show were gracious and interesting to talk to. Below, Our Lady of Perpetual PMS talks to about half the audience after the show and hocks some merch.
We ended the show with a Q & A and chatted until we had nothing left to chat about.
Our Lady of PPMS and I then scavenged some free records from the free records bin at that aforementioned great music store below CACC and then we jumped into our Focus and vanished into the snowy night.
A good time was enjoyed by all.
Our Lady of Perpetual PMS primps before a mirror at the
Italian restaurant across the street, post pee pee.
Hey guys. It's me again.
Coming to you live and direct from sunny Cali...
Oh who am I kidding? I hate it out here right now and I can't for the life of me say why. I woke up this morning, watched some cartoons (Super Hero Squad), some Stooges and then it just hit me. The Subterranean Homesick Blues. Take it away, Dylan.
OK, so maybe I'm not really mixing up drugs in the basement or dealing with anything that song represents, but I like the song and I like the title and I find it comforting to listen to. Definitely reminds me of New York and I've been listening to it on repeat all morning.
I miss you, New York! I promise I'll never, ever leave you again for more than 2 weeks. I'm in LA for a month and that fact makes me want to vom a little.
THAT BEING SAID...
I will make the most of my time here, BUBS! I vow to make every moment count! Like right now I'm going to really put my all into finishing my Ultimate Supreme Blended Coffee Damnation from Coffee Bean. See? I'm already feeling better.
Someone please tell New York I love her and touch her lady parts for me. I'll be home soon.
Love,
Glennis
Coming to you live and direct from sunny Cali...
Oh who am I kidding? I hate it out here right now and I can't for the life of me say why. I woke up this morning, watched some cartoons (Super Hero Squad), some Stooges and then it just hit me. The Subterranean Homesick Blues. Take it away, Dylan.
OK, so maybe I'm not really mixing up drugs in the basement or dealing with anything that song represents, but I like the song and I like the title and I find it comforting to listen to. Definitely reminds me of New York and I've been listening to it on repeat all morning.
I miss you, New York! I promise I'll never, ever leave you again for more than 2 weeks. I'm in LA for a month and that fact makes me want to vom a little.
THAT BEING SAID...
I will make the most of my time here, BUBS! I vow to make every moment count! Like right now I'm going to really put my all into finishing my Ultimate Supreme Blended Coffee Damnation from Coffee Bean. See? I'm already feeling better.
Someone please tell New York I love her and touch her lady parts for me. I'll be home soon.
Love,
Glennis
While I'm busy transcribing the lyrics to this song, please take a look at our steaming hot
lineup for Tuesday March 9!!!
GET OFF YOUR KNEES
It's a comedy show.
Tuesday, March 9, 8 p.m.
The Bell House Lounge
JOE MANDE (Look At This Fucking Hipster)
ROB CANTRELL (Last Comic Standing)
DAVID ANGELO (The David Angelo Radio Show)
A VERY SPECIAL GUEST? FUCK THAT SHIT. YOU'RE THE SPECIAL GUEST. (Unless a very
special guest agrees to do the show between now and then, in which case, sorry.)
Hosted by Kim Armstrong and myself.
The Bell House is located in the Gowanus area of Park Slope, 149 7th Street between
2nd and 3rd Avenue. (Near the 4th Ave / 9th Street stop on the F, G, R train.)
Free!
Wed 03 March, 2010
Hey guys, it's me.
I was just chatting with my friend Carlos* who was asking my advice on approaching a laaaaaaady and it sparked a memory in me.
*Names have been changed to protect the googled.
First of all I enjoy that my guy friends approach me for advice. I had this super-jellin boyfriend before who FORBADE ME FROM HAVING GUY FRIENDS!! and I gave up some pretty awesome friendships. Most of which I've reforged, but HEY that's not cool. Don't do that OK, ladies?
Oh and all my guy friends call my girl friends "Hot _____". I guess I have a lot of hot girlfriends. And no, that doesn't make me jealous because I know they're calling me "SUPER HOT GLENNIS" behind my back.
Right guys?
Guys?
BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
The point is... what was the point. Oh right. Memory!
So I told Carlos that he should ask her out for a drink and he jokingly said, "or a BJ"... and that sparked the memory. I KNOW. Gross. But bear with me.
I was in high school and an acquaintance of mine, a guy I hung out with here and there, but never on our own, went through a very public breakup. You know those high school breakups. THE END OF THE WORLD. So I'm home one day and I get a call from this guy. He says he's really upset and could use a woman's ear. HE CALLED ME A WOMAN, YOU GUYS. OK he might not have, but it's my memory.
The boy, and I do stress BOY, asked if he could pick me up and drive around; he just needed to talk. Why sure, I said. And guys, I was honored. I really was. Out of all the girls in the school he sought my advice. (Jesus this story is kind of depressing me already...) So the boy picks me up and we head up toward the ski resort a few miles out of town to an area where the high school kids would hold a lot of parties. And we chatted and he did ask my advice and I helped as best I could. I was helping, you guys! I love to help.
So eventually, after driving for what was probably 30-minutes, he stops the truck in a wooded area and says he needs to take a leak. I sit in the car as he goes out and relieves himself through what I can only imagine is a very small wiener and then he walks back to the truck he says to me, "I hear you give really good blow jobs."
GA-GA-GAAAAaaaa
WHAAAAAAAAAAAT
Shocked.
SHOCKED.
"I'm sorry, what?" I reply.
"The word around school is that you give really good head."
OK... FIRST OF ALL even if that WERE true (and it wasn't*) that's your ingenious plan to get one from me? What a last place DICK. A real BONEHEAD! A first class DOUCHE! I hope that guy got kicked in the nuts a lot later in life.
*To explain the "good head" rumors we'd need to go into a detailed story about 3 bitches who made a portion of my high school experience HELL because they thought they saw me at a party with one of their boyfriends. They did not. I hope they got kicked in the vag a lot.
And that, my friends, is a profile of a dick. I wish I could impart some warning signs upon you, but as you see there were none.
Seriously though, I have no idea why I just wrote that. Maybe that dick will find it and be ashamed. He'll have to because I have NO idea what his name is now. HAHA FUCK YOUR FACE I FORGOT YOU!
Have a great day and, please, don't be dicks.
xo
Glennis
I was just chatting with my friend Carlos* who was asking my advice on approaching a laaaaaaady and it sparked a memory in me.
*Names have been changed to protect the googled.
First of all I enjoy that my guy friends approach me for advice. I had this super-jellin boyfriend before who FORBADE ME FROM HAVING GUY FRIENDS!! and I gave up some pretty awesome friendships. Most of which I've reforged, but HEY that's not cool. Don't do that OK, ladies?
Oh and all my guy friends call my girl friends "Hot _____". I guess I have a lot of hot girlfriends. And no, that doesn't make me jealous because I know they're calling me "SUPER HOT GLENNIS" behind my back.
Right guys?
Guys?
BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
The point is... what was the point. Oh right. Memory!
So I told Carlos that he should ask her out for a drink and he jokingly said, "or a BJ"... and that sparked the memory. I KNOW. Gross. But bear with me.
I was in high school and an acquaintance of mine, a guy I hung out with here and there, but never on our own, went through a very public breakup. You know those high school breakups. THE END OF THE WORLD. So I'm home one day and I get a call from this guy. He says he's really upset and could use a woman's ear. HE CALLED ME A WOMAN, YOU GUYS. OK he might not have, but it's my memory.
The boy, and I do stress BOY, asked if he could pick me up and drive around; he just needed to talk. Why sure, I said. And guys, I was honored. I really was. Out of all the girls in the school he sought my advice. (Jesus this story is kind of depressing me already...) So the boy picks me up and we head up toward the ski resort a few miles out of town to an area where the high school kids would hold a lot of parties. And we chatted and he did ask my advice and I helped as best I could. I was helping, you guys! I love to help.
So eventually, after driving for what was probably 30-minutes, he stops the truck in a wooded area and says he needs to take a leak. I sit in the car as he goes out and relieves himself through what I can only imagine is a very small wiener and then he walks back to the truck he says to me, "I hear you give really good blow jobs."
GA-GA-GAAAAaaaa
WHAAAAAAAAAAAT
Shocked.
SHOCKED.
"I'm sorry, what?" I reply.
"The word around school is that you give really good head."
OK... FIRST OF ALL even if that WERE true (and it wasn't*) that's your ingenious plan to get one from me? What a last place DICK. A real BONEHEAD! A first class DOUCHE! I hope that guy got kicked in the nuts a lot later in life.
*To explain the "good head" rumors we'd need to go into a detailed story about 3 bitches who made a portion of my high school experience HELL because they thought they saw me at a party with one of their boyfriends. They did not. I hope they got kicked in the vag a lot.
And that, my friends, is a profile of a dick. I wish I could impart some warning signs upon you, but as you see there were none.
Seriously though, I have no idea why I just wrote that. Maybe that dick will find it and be ashamed. He'll have to because I have NO idea what his name is now. HAHA FUCK YOUR FACE I FORGOT YOU!
Have a great day and, please, don't be dicks.
xo
Glennis
Tue 02 March, 2010
This is probably my favorite thing ever:
